Letter to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

Current Address Unknown

Future Address: Hell


March 15, 2015

Addressing you as Sir or Mr. would imply respect, so I’ll refrain from using either.  As the leader of ISIS, you send your murderous thugs on rampages against innocent civilians, in the name of religion.  While they’re out raping, pillaging, and torturing, you hide behind women and children, afraid to show your face.  If you were a true leader and noble warrior you would face your adversaries unafraid, willing to die for the cause you supposedly believe in.  As the sniveling coward you are, you recruit your fighters as cannon fodder and claim that torturing and killing children, raping and enslaving women, and executing men are all in accordance with your religion.

In the interest of expediency, since I can’t address you as Sir or Mr., let’s agree that I’ll just call you dumbass.  Hey dumbass; you’re insane!  No legitimate religion endorses killing anyone who is a non-believer.  No religion calls for killing innocent people and harvesting their organs for sale on the black market.  Destroying ancient antiquities and immolating prisoners in steel cages are not referenced in any religious text.  The only religion you and your band of miscreants follow is the religion of pure evil.  As the soldiers of evil, you are pursuing a course that is not winnable. You know this, but being the dumbass you are, you continue down the path to oblivion, still believing you have a chance to establish a worldwide caliphate, with you as its leader.

In your role as self appointed leader of your caliphate, you have deemed that you are the final arbiter of the tenets of your perverted interpretation of Islam.  As a dumbass and a bloodthirsty terrorist, your actions speak to your insanity, and your depravity has shown the civilized world what evil human beings are capable of doing to their fellow human beings.  The atrocities that you convince others to perform on your behalf cannot be justified, and even you have to realize that this will not end well for you.

Every human being that your thugs will kill today have a God-given right to life.  Whether they live or die is not up to you to decide.  Your fate has been cast, and your defeat has already been set into motion.  The end of ISIS will come soon.  When the end comes for you, most likely in an act of violence with extreme prejudice, you may have a few seconds to conduct a brief life review.  You’ll see the error of your ways as you are dispatched to hell, and finally realize that the rivers of honey and 72 virgins ain’t gonna happen.  Only then will you realize that you wasted your life and punched your ticket to an eternity your actions condemned you to.